I’ve been writing on a notebook for nearly 6 hours, my hand hurts, I feel sick, hungry, and I have not even begun writing my essay, the thing that will be graded later today and the reason I have spent all this time gathering useless knowledge. Is being a functioning member of society worth this aggravation? I’m beginning to wonder.
And now, for my latest trick, I’m going to pull a 10-page essay on Small Business Development out of my ass. This may not sound like much, so in order to add an element of danger, I’m going to do this without any previous knowledge of the subject, no idea what kind of essay format my professor wants, and in less than 4 hours even though this is supposed to take a week. I might even start working on that business plan that is also due tomorrow and worth 50 percent of our final grade. I say “our” because this is part of a group assignment, so if I goof off, I’m not only screwing myself, but 5 other people I don’t know as well. Wish me luck, drum roll, please.
And the magic words are “I’m not watching The Oscars instead of doing my homework”